John Piper is Bad

Ok, you guys know I love John Piper. I was searching You Tube for Piper videos to watch and came across this. I thought you might enjoy it so I decided to post it here. I got a good laugh and thought you might too.

There is a shorter version without the Piper interview on You Tube, but I thought it was good to show this one since the guy shows it was done in good fun and not out of disrespect. And I like what Piper has to say about it. We are bad. Thanks be to our Savior Jesus Christ!

If your not familiar with John Piper, check out his teaching at www.desiringgod.org or click the link to the right.

Dave

What's in a name?

You may be wondering about my screen name and name of my web address (Zeppie) or maybe not. But I thought I would share it with you any way. So here it goes.

As you may know from personal experience, coming up with a screen name is usually a challenge. There is always more than one cardsfan or droberts or any other countless combinations that you try to think of. So one day when trying to come up with a screen name for Ebay, or something of the sort, I began to run out of options.

It just so happened that I was a collector of Pez dispensers. That's right Pez . You know, the candy dispensers with the character heads. That for another blog, another day. So, I tried to think of several combinations that included Pez and finally stumbled upon Zeppie. Pez spelled backwards with ...pie (pronounced zepp as in zeppelin and ending in long e). It seems like most places I am the first to claim zeppie, so it stuck.

Manhood

Well, my manhood was tested today and I passed. Not with flying colors, but I passed. On my way home from Paris (did I tell you how much I love driving to Paris every day) a man behind me began to flash me with his headlights and point emphatically downward. I had no idea what was the big deal. I took a look in my rearview mirror to make sure my trunk and gas tank were closed, and they were, so I continued to drive.

A little time passed, but this guy was persistant. He was waving his hands like he was having a grand mal. So I figured it would be in my best interest to pull over at the next spot possible. So I parked my car at 1st Bank in Atwood, got out and took a gander. To my amazement and dread I spotted the cause of his status epilepticus .

My rear driver's tire was flat. I mean flat. Not just low on air, but sucking it. It was flatter than a playing card, flatter than a pancake, flatter than Al Gore. You get the point.

You see, I have never sucessfully changed a tire before. My manhood was a stake. Could I do it without mamming my car, myself, or my pride. The challenge was on. After stuggling for longer than I want to admit (ok about 10 minutes), I finally got the jack out of the trunk. Yes, just to get the jack out of the trunk. But with a little help from a passer-by, I was able to figure out that I would need to twist a knoby thing to get it out. Ok, strike one on the manhood.

Then I needed to decide the proper placement for the jack. This is where I went wrong in my previous tire changing escapade. Lets just say I had a little minor body damage the last time, won't make that mistake again. Fortunately there was a little picture on the jack that showed where I would need to place it. Got to love those pictures.

Now time to crank up the jack. I wasn't sure which tool to use, but I started in anyway. I'm a man, I should be able to figure this out... This seemed to be taking forever. I broke down and did the unthinkable, I read the instructions in the owner's manual. Duh...so that's how you do it. Strike two on the manhood.

Fortunately, the tire came off with ease, but the jack needed to be a little higher to get on the spare. After a couple minutes it seemed to be getting harder to put the tire on instead of easier. Then I realized I was turning the jack the wrong way. I realized my error and quickly began to crank the opposite way with much better success. Let's just count this one as a foul ball, shall we.

Ah!! The tire was on! Now I just needed to make it to Jackson without anything tragic happening. My fear is that I would not have the lug nuts tight enough and the tire would come flying off down Hwy 45. If this happened it would certainly be my third and final whiff. Then I would begin my slow embarassing walk back to the dugout. But I am happy to say that I made it to Jackson in one piece, with my manhood intact, barely.

An hour later I had a new tire from King Tire, with rotation, and an oil change. The only glich is that I had thought we purchased the Roadside Hazard warranty from them when we bought the tires. Apparently not. So instead of the free tire, which I expected, it was $62 plus tax. Why is it when we buy the extended warranty things never break, and when we don't they alway break? I guess that would make another blog.

Men, save your boys great embarassment later in life. Teach them to change a tire.

Death and Taxes

I just finished my taxes online. Many dread the thought of taxes, but not us poor folk. It's the moment I've waited for all year. Uncle George sends me a paycheck for having kids and barely making an income. Don't you love America!

I think doing my taxes is a blast. Heck, it's more fun than playing the dollar slots at Tunica. If you do TurboTax online (which I highly recomend) you get the pleasure of seeing that little box in the corner rack up your refund. I mean what's better than seeing your yearly income almost double before your very eyes. That's right double!

I just found out I got a $2600 return! Cha-Ching! I only made a little over 3000 bucks last year. That's what I call a payday. No wonder so many people would rather be poor than find a job. Mark, maybe you shouldn't be so concerned about finding work.

If your poor like me and haven't done your taxes yet, use TurboTax freedom online. It's free if your poor and you too can have the pleasure of seeing your return spin upward into the heavens.

Dave